a note of thanks

Life's like that - Ups and downs, downs, downs... And having some kind of support when you are in the 'downs' phase, prevents you from going 'down' too much!
I surely have one such support.
Dedicating this post to 'V'. Thanks for always saying those nice, confidence-building words... This is the best, I thought, I can give you!

thanks - दिल से!

Expect-e-Shun

Is that what will make me happy? I am human and I expect.

(Flashback)
"I expect that my junior will do the work I give him, that my boss will appreciate my hard work, that my mom will have food ready whenever I am hungry, that my friend will always be free whenever I want to meet him, that the signal will never be red when I am late, that the trains will always be on time, that she will understand me even though I say nothing, that the watchman will always open the building gate for my car, that the cell phone will never be out of range, that I will always get the ticket for the movie I want to see, that HE will give me whatever I want... that life will be best to me.
Why?
Because I am me!"

... and then HE blessed me - 'Expect-e-Shun'!

Tips?! Or are they?

Found something, for a woman to look out for in a man, for her to know if he loves her. Dont know why I am posting it... sometimes you just feel like posting some thing without any apparent reason and this is one such instance.


How can you tell if he’s in love?
• When he seems to be overjoyed when he meets you and when he spends time with you. The man is in love
• He will take care of himself financially, physically and spiritually to make her feel secure and happy
• He will wake up before you and make sure that you’re is okay, wonders if you are hungry, checks to see if you’re warm enough or if you would need anything else
• A man in love is when he makes long term plan about sharing his activities with you. He will make sure that his girlfriend can participate in his social activities as well
• The unexpected gift shows that he cares

Post your comments on what you feel.
Also, I am sure there are atleast a few more... Will post them as soon as I get to know them....

~a

Memoirs of the dinner with Baz...

Overcoming the unusual reluctance to get the photos uploaded did take quite a while. After pondering over how I should be presenting the photos, I have decided to have them on my Blog! (and why not, besides being a dinner with the 'High profile' guys, it was for something which would make all of us proud of our efforts)...

Being a bit creatively inclined, I was looking for a new way to display the photos and my discovery was - A slideshow which could be embeded right in my blog...!

Anyway, without wasting much of your time, I wish you enjoy the slideshow and yes, if you could spare a moment, do post in your comment as well!

~a
(alternately, you can view the album directly at http://picasaweb.google.com/amu.khandekar/DinnerWithBaz or by clicking on the link below the slideshow)

View Album

Get your own

Alvida

Even though it was chilly, I decided to take a walk. I felt the need to go out, walk alone and think about things. So there I was, walking on ice covered street, in a below 0 temperature and all alone after midnight. I had my iPod with me and there was only one song playing ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’…

Had just watched the movie on TV. Although there were a few proponents of the idea of the movie from my work group, I was not one of them. But I admire the power of that movie which had made me think, give time to myself and walk alone on the street when even the stupidest of people would go and remain inside a house…

How can people just get out of marriage, start liking other people!? ‘Haalaat’ – Is this the only reason that people come together or people go apart; even the closest of people? Can’t things be controlled? I would never let my relationships be hampered, at least my closest relationships…

long time...

... riding on the cycle towards my home, I think of what I am going to make for dinner. "I dont like to be repetitive but whats that I can make in half hour and eat!"... and suddenly that jolt feeling of not having written anything since a long time on this world book on mine, strikes me...

window... this is the window where in one can peep into some of my thoughts and I can get an insight on my life. I love my audience. They help build me...

"Enough!" - let me hold myself here now that my mind has reproached me...

Just wanted to let you guys know - "Hang on... something's cooking!"


Cheerio~
a

Love will find a way...

Dont know why I am posting this here... Probably wanted you to see what I have been doing!
Tried my hand at getting something done with the camera (a motion picture is still on my mind!)


(Am too conscious at times... its difficult when you trying to do the shooting all alone at places where people are walking around and watching you!)

My first recording Broadcast!

To Mom, Dad and Sis:

Be Thankful

"Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings."

I do not have everything I desire & I am fighting to get it...
There are so many things I dont know & I am striving to know more about them...
The times which I am going through is a very difficult time. Still I am getting stronger by the day and feeling more and more postive...
I sometimes get irritated because of my limitations. But that drives me hard to do it better and better...
I have made many mistakes. Some due to lack of awareness while some ignorantly! But I have learnt my lessons and am getting better every moment...
There are days when I am dead tired after giving in a lot. And few days after that I get the appreciation for the work I have done! Fulfillment... indeed.

I am thankful to HIM to have taught me these things through life and always being there for me! I am sure in this difficult time you will help me as always...

I wonder, though, what GOD must be doing all the time since all the above clauses are already true for HIM!

~a

Relation - ships!

Dilutions of the feelings... confusions of mind... realization of missing something... and....

Have been thinking about this stuff in and out... believe me, no one knows it. Its very dynamic and it has a time component (atleast thats what it seems to be!)

People catch a boat and start riding together. Storms, wild water... they have to battle it all. Somehow I feel, very few people stay on... Do people get the life boats, one each and abandon the ship!? I hope they dont.

One thing I can assure you... I am not a seaman or a person who's gonna ride the life boat with just me in it... I'll take everyone, yes, everyone. Cause I believe...

Am I wrong?

~a

Gandhigiri... Bapu ki jai!

There are some things on which there will be hoards of postings by millions of people. But then these things deserve it! I might be a bit late in posting about Gandhigiri but then I had to! (considering the way I get pumped up after seeing the movie!)

"I am going to do it... Change India... make a revolution... in my own way and make it the best country in the world!"... (I know people say we are the best, even I do to sometimes. But c'mon, be practical. Lets accept it that there are lot of things which still need improvement and strive towards making it the heaven it deserves to become!)

I feel like shouting aloud. Havent in my whole life have admired the power of GANDHIJI! Suddenly I have a lot of respect, I understand the power that he had, relate to the suffering he has gone through to make INDIA free! (Yes, we have fought for it - a lot in a non violent way!)

I am sure everyone has followed some of his principles, atleast some time in Life. I definitely have... The strength which it has is immense.. Most of us have not really thought about this. The movie made me realize that!

"Bande mein tha dum... Vande Mataram!" - Completely agree to it... Have been hearing and listening to incidents which have been inspired by Gandhigiri and its working... We can see it. Maybe it takes a bit more time. But then the result is the best.. Why do we want to settle for something less! Lets not... Lets be the best, do the best...

Bapu ko apun solid respect karne laga hai... Kya aadmi tha. Whole nation on his back. Solid power tha baap! Apun ko abhi tak kuch realise nahi hua. Aaj se apun bhi vinamrata se Gandhigiri karega!

Long live Gandhigiri... And personal thanks to the Munnabhai Gang!

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia

Well, no its not the random typing of the keys but a word! Yea, you read it right... Its a word! Well, Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is a fear found in the Western Christian world which indicates that the number 666 is linked to Satan.

Want to add more to this information?
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia

Dont ask why I put this word here! It was just due to the sheer length of the word. So since there's nothing I want to write in this, lets end this... catch ya soon with something more interesting.

"...my blessings are always with you"

[ding]... and the door opens. Its great to be home after 3-4 weeks! Mom, dad, sis... everyone is so happy! The TV's playing loudly, but who cares... and then I move in. My eyes fall on that part of the room where someone, who is as happy as everyone else in the room, is eagerly waiting for me! A broad, shy smile on the face that's seen so many things, makes me realise my importance... its him... my 'Ajobaa'...

<a few years later>... and I think of watching the Marathi VCD that my dad has sent to me from India. Sipping coke and feasting on the self-made breadroll I put on the CD... The CD's playing... suddenly a drop of tear rolls on my cheek... I miss him. All the memories, lying in dust, suddenly get washed by a strong force of water, some of which has come out of my eyes in the form of tears... I close my eyes and I see the part of my house where a man with white hair and creased body used to sit and smile whenever I returned home...

<flashback>... he handed me the Rs.100 note and said to me in a breakin voice, "Jaa, ek masta ice-cream gheun ye... party pack" ("Go, get an ice-cream... party pack"). I could not take this... I returned the same note to him and said, "Asude ajobaa, mi aanto, tumhi hey theva" ("Let it be grandpa, I'll get it, you keep this")... I ran to the ice-cream parlor and got the newest flavour. That night the ice-cream tasted awesome and everyone enjoyed it a lot...

... and it was time for me to leave. Had to catch the 6 am bus to Pune since I had to be in office by 9:00. I wear my shoes without putting on the lights cause he's sleeping there. But I can see the eyes open and looking at me... They are saying something... "Lavkar ye parat..." ("Come back soon"). I understand what those eyes are saying to me... "Chalaa ajoba... yeto mi. Kalji ghya" ("Ok grandpa... I'll be back soon. Take care") He sits up and gives his blessings to me. And I leave...

<today>... i still have the kashmiri shawl he had gifted to me before I left for my first job to Hyderabad. He had gone to the market himself and got me the shawl. Dont know how much he bought it for but I know its worth - priceless!

Miss you ajobaa... really... wish you were with us at the time I left India and even when I come back to India...

~me

Perplexed

... things which seem to take you away from yourself and then you find yourself in this oblivion; unimportant and unwanted.

The mind deviates, runs fast, turns around - upside down & nothing seems right... how could it seem right... you got to be placed right for that!

Thoughts, vision, speech - everythin's blurred. You feel the world's started to hate you! You cry out loud inside, "i am the same one... i am good... forgive me for all the things i have done wrong...". But its not heard. It just stays put inside. On a random day, the screech comes out in some form and makes things worse! Its not deliberate... its not wicked... its human... it really is.

... not easy. Sudden realization of the vastness of life, the complexity of being, the intricacy of relationships. You tend to get pulled back to the past - the sunny days and the hearty laughs, the stupid jokes and the serious talks, the togetherness and the being apart.

... and then i start singing... perceiving things are in place... everything's all right... i have a chance... but the moment doesnt last long... i dont mind living in that moment endlessly, looping infinitely... but there's always an 'exit' and i have to leave the moment...

Hope... is all that is. Belief... is what should be. i hope... and i believe. Dont ask me why... cause i will jus say that its meant to be!

~me

It's nice to be nice

[Office: around 5:00 pm]
"Hi there"... a voice reaches out. There is hardly any response. A bleak 'Hi' from a couple of guys and thats it.

[Office: about 5 mins later - 5:05 pm]
"See ya!". Again a couple of faint voices heard - "Buhby!".

Why doesn't anyone bother to respond? Are we too into our own world, into our own people? I am sure that somewhere inside each one feels that he/she should respond. But some elements, mind factors [or whatever!] pull up the string and we just ignore.

Spoke to the person who has been greeting us everyday. And learnt a lot from her. "Its nice to be nice", she says!

Indeed! Making people feel - yes, there's someone who knows me and cares to say a big 'Hi'

Cummon... start living... express yourself. Acknowledge and accept... and you will yourself realise - 'It's nice to be nice'.

Thanks V for making us realise this!

~a

Tiny bits of Life

A feeling of independence, the scent of freshness, the knowledge of 'being'... each tiny drop of rain falls on the body and with it brings an emotion. Drop by drop, the feelings are enhanced and multiplied.

I ran, ran in the rains, after a long long time. Felt that freedom, felt the freshness, felt the love, felt the feeling of 'being'!

Now, back in my room, these emotions are still bubblying inside me, holding that smile on my face.

I feel I am!

'a

Beacon day out

The excitement was high. The first client party certainly brings out anxiety, excitement and a whole plethora of undiscovered emotions. And especially when the party is in some foreign country by a foreign client the emotions are amplified.

It was the Beacon day, a whole day outing alongwith the client people at a nearby clubhouse. Right from cricket to softball to pool, a prudent arrangement was made which suited the outing needs of the whole group. Our guys did not miss the chance to have a cricket match fixed up with the client team.
Not only these games but a few speciality outing games were also arranged. Seeing the opportunity I was on the top of a bull (although artificial) and having a rodeo ride! What were the chances of me winning the rodeo competition! I did it in style, setting a record for the first time I had a ride and breaking my own record the next time! (read: 73 seconds on the bull!).

Public lazing around after having emptied a whole crate of beer cans into their stomach seemed like a typical scene out of an English outing publication. Got an excellent opportunity to interact with people, most of whom I had never met, let alone knowing their names! Sandy, who was the co-organiser, dropped a bomb having declared me as the 15 yr old boy! (I am sure she was just joking! She was! Believe me! - waiting for your comment, Sandy... you have to assert me!)

The barbeque in the evening was followed by the dance time. The chaos in the atmosphere coupled with the vibrant body moves gave a typical Indian trance + indipop look to the dance scene. Andy, Becky, Michelle, Nick, Craig, Sandy were some of the many client people shaking their legs to the dhakchik Bollywood numbers. Later it was our turn to shake our booty on the English numbers, some of which I had never heard.

The evening passed away with the booze in hand and the mind in the dance. The outing gave me an excellent opportunity to know the team and to interact with the client members and I think I did good.

It was one helluva 'Beacon Day' OUT!

Special weekend post

Life's starting off... After all that confusions about the future, I've decided to take a break. Today is Saturday, no thinking till the next week. [Gosh... this week's getting over today!]. But anyway... Got to live life today.
So what makes this post special!? Guys, this is my first post. Gotto be special!

More comes laterz...